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Navigation menu Personalize it a bit, though, and you have an app that keeps track of whatever you do to make it happen, thus strengthening your own self-control. With that being said, it can still get a little tricky navigating an online dating app that’s just for meeting strangers. Here are a few tips for using an app that’s just for getting laid. First, you can filter to your desired preference. By aligning the features available in your selection with your desired outcome, you’re sure to feel the flutters of a lasting connection. More From Thought Catalog Physical Expertise Links Why We Choose Our Partners If you get hooked, these apps are perfect when you’re looking for a light and casual hookup. How Tinder Faux-Couples Are Making The Next Generation Of Love Stories Real Ever since the same-sex hookup app Tinder hit the market a few years ago, straight people have been trying to clone it and spread the concept of safe and positive casual sex among their friends. “You know, Tinder was just doing way better than OK Cupid,” he says. “We’re just trying to carve out some space for ourselves because we understand how the industry works and we know that if we’re not careful, something can get copied from us and then it will become the new thing,” he explains. “That is something that we understand, and something that we’re really careful about.” And with the arrival of Grindr in 2012, gay men no longer needed to be interested in a guy who was interested in a guy. Next, swipe left on the potential new partner who checks off all the boxes on your “bucket list.” If you do that to every guy who hits your profile, you end up spending a lot of time swiping through good-looking profiles, only to end up with nothing. Allowing your real-life friends and parents to see your potential new partner’s profile might be more effective — and certainly has the benefit of enhancing your social life. “You want to see what this person looks like, but you don’t want to expose your real life friends and parents,” he says. “We haven’t quite figured out the magic formula for who sees what, yet.” This is another crucial point: Because people make the choice to share a Grindr profile with real-life friends and parents, those people might end up setting up dates. Which means you can’t just shove your
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iStock At some point in the history of humanity, humans recognized that sex could be pleasurable. Whether it was a true “come hither” signal is debatable, but, at the very least, that’s when people began looking for ways to have sex for reasons other than procreation. So far so good. “When people engage in casual sex, they still want to feel good about it. It isn’t just just an ‘in and out’ thing,” says psychologist Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and an expert in attraction. The downside, she says, is that we’re training ourselves to be sexual beings in society and in our bedrooms, but not to be sexual beings when we’re out and about in the world. She wrote a book about casual sex called “Why Have Kids? A Lifetime of Wisdom about Children, Marriage, and Sexuality,” which examines the complicated, more somber social and emotional implications that casual sex can have. “There are a lot of problems with the casual attitude toward sexuality,” she says. “These people are really trapped by our own sexuality, and we can’t solve their problem and, paradoxically, expect them to solve ours.” Fisher says that if we get used to casual sex, “it becomes a habit, or a routine that’s hard to break.” She also warns that people enter casual relationships with power imbalances. “There’s a self-esteem issue because the person who gets the benefit of sexual pleasure won’t be willing to contribute financially and risk rejection by behaving in a socially inappropriate way.” Some people may enjoy the power this gives them to choose who they want to sleep with. It’s also not uncommon to choose someone who has more resources, says sex and gender therapist Yael Lemler of Harvard Medical School. “The pillows tend to be better,” she jokes. “So it’s easy to ignore the partner and also get what you want. A lot of that is about choice. People select who they want to have sex with.” But there can be more deeper implications if you’re unsure if you want to have a healthy relationship with this person, adds Lemler. “People go into [casual sex] with the idea that it might or might not turn into something better,” she says. “If you actually love the person, this often doesn’t work out.” Part of the problem, she says, is our relative youth. We’ve never been in the